You don't find happiness. You design it.

Your Happiness Ecosystem

If happiness isn't something you chase, where does it come from?

Over the past two years, I've dug into the behavioural science research. What emerged are four distinct contexts, environments where happiness doesn't require effort because the conditions are right.

1. Curiosity: The Engine of Growth

Psychologist Todd Kashdan's research shows that curious people live longer, experience more positive emotions, and handle stress better. But curiosity isn't just asking questions—it's a stance of openness toward what you don't yet know.

The problem? Most adult environments are designed to suppress curiosity. Work rewards expertise over exploration. Relationships settle into predictable patterns. Algorithms feed us what we already like.

The intervention: Design environments that invite wondering. Pixar does this with "plussing", building on ideas instead of shooting them down. Darwin did it with his "thinking walk." Even changing where you sit in a meeting can reopen closed thinking.

2. Flow: The Disappearing Self

When you're fully absorbed in a challenging task, not too hard, not too easy, something remarkable happens: time dissolves, self-consciousness fades, and the work itself becomes the reward.

Mihály Csikszentmihályi spent decades studying flow. His finding: we're happiest not when we're relaxed, but when we're stretched. Flow isn't the absence of effort, it's effort that feels effortless.

The problem? Constant interruption destroys flow. Notifications, open offices, back-to-back meetings, they keep us on the threshold without ever letting us enter.

The intervention: Protect uninterrupted time. Structure your environment for deep work. And crucially, match challenge to skill, flow lives in that narrow band where you're working at your edge.

3. Mastery: The Joy of Getting Better

There's a unique satisfaction in mastering something that once seemed impossible. Not expertise, mastery is about the process of becoming capable.

The research suggests this is especially powerful when you're stretching just beyond your comfort zone. Too easy and you're bored. Too hard and you're anxious. But in that sweet spot of productive struggle, happiness emerges.

The problem? Adults stop learning. We optimise for efficiency and avoid the discomfort of being beginners.

The intervention: Take on challenges slightly above your current ability. Accept that struggle is the point, not the obstacle.

4. Connection: The Social DNA of Happiness

If someone close to you becomes happier, your own chance of happiness increases by 25%. This isn’t metaphorical, it's measurable social contagion that extends up to three degrees of separation.

Connection doesn't mean socialising. It means being truly seen and understood—and truly seeing and understanding others.

The problem? Technology creates the illusion of connection while leaving us lonelier than ever.

The intervention: Design for depth over breadth. Protect time for the relationships that matter. Remember that your mood affects others whether you intend it to or not.

These four contexts aren't the only sources of wellbeing. But they're powerful, practical, and within your control. Not because you need to become a different person, but because you can design a different environment.

That's the real happiness code. Not what you are, but where you are.

Pre-order it in Dutch here.

Happiness Leaks

Why don't we notice when happiness drains away? Three reasons:

Habituation: We adapt to our environment so completely that we stop noticing what's wrong. The irritating noise becomes background. The cynical colleague becomes "just how it is."

Normalcy bias: We assume our experience is universal. "Everyone's stressed. Everyone's too busy. This is just life."

Downward comparison: We compare ourselves to those worse off and conclude we shouldn't complain. "At least I have a job."

Together, these make happiness leaks invisible, until you're running on empty.

The antidote? Regular context audits. Ask: What in my environment consistently drains me? And what would it take to plug the leak?

Until next week,

Astrid Groenewegen

Co-Founder of SUE | Behavioural Design Academy, Author of 'The Art of Designing Behaviour' / 'De Kunst van Gedrag Ontwerpen' and ‘De Gelukscode’